Desperation Miles (The Day I Died)

Last night I cried

While reading catcher and the rye

Laying under the blue sky

But I felt just the same. 

Sometimes I'm lazy

In the middle of the day

When I need to be awake

But I wish that I had died

A misguided misfortune,

taking its toll.

Fucking with my brain,

tonight heads will roll.

A misguided misfortune

taking its toll

but tonight is the night 

I wish I had died 

Because of you.

Because of me.

Because of my family.

This is it.

This is my last stand.

I can’t stand this anyway.

You may had the right,

to put me in the light.

It’s not fair,

not for you,

not anymore.

Yes sometimes I cry,

while watching clouds in the sky.

but the thoughts will not die,

I don’t know why.

I take the pills,

to take away the feelings,

that I have.

They wont go away.

But I still wake up,

with my tears in my eyes.

They are all dried up,

and I lost my mind.

Yes sometimes I cry,

in the middle of the night.

After I say goodnight  

When I think,

of you.

The day I almost died.

Because of you.

Because of me.

Because of my sanity.

Because these cuts,

wont go away.

Because of you.

Because of my hate,

that can swallow the whole world.

Because of me,

and my sobriety.

It just fails 

when I have to look you in the eye. 

No I can’t stay.

No I won’t fight.

No I will not fail this 

and let go my life.

No I can’t stay,

or be shut out.

I may have failed,

but ive been here,

from the start.

Sometimes I die,

consecutive time,

in the midst of strangers 

they have no eyes.

But I still wake up,

the same every night.

As I smell the smoke,

burning out my mouth.

And I still may cry,

with these tears in my eyes,

my heart feels the same,

I can’t help but lie.

All the truth I fake,

that comes out of my sighs.

All the lies I create,

as I look in your eyes

Though I still wake up,

mostly same every night

I can’t go.

No I won’t wait.

Like I did last night

Because of you.

Because of me.

Because of my latency.

Because of my crimes.

Because of the way you look at me,

with your howling eyes.

The way I create,

all my lies.

Because of you.

My lack of insight.

Because of my strange house,

that lies in the road. 

Because of the cars,

that pass me by.

They all swerve,

avoid me,

I don’t know why.

Because of you. 

Because of me.

Because of my childish heart,

and my childish mind.

Because of us,

it wont stay.

Because of my hate of this world,

it wont go away.

Because of you.

Because of you.

When I woke up.

I could not believe my eyes.

I saw the devil and god,

they were playing dice.

They fought for me,

and my sound mind.

But I only thought of you,

the day I may have died.

Remember me