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Thursday, January 17, 2013

The Skin Under Our Nails

I walk these streets in the dark,
no place to rest my weary head. 
Distances no one cares to know. 
The road I have traveled,
but I remain the same. 
I counted my age,
the ages left me again. 
All the broken roads I have traveled,
I remain the same.
Chasing my dreams.

The solitude creeps down my veins
but it feels the same once again. 
I let you in with an open door,
I let in all my friends. 
But the distances I traveled,
they affect me all the same,
dirt in my teeth,
and grime on my skin. 
The same road that I travel,
but it's never the same. 
I'm only chasing my dreams.

Stop, wait, lend me your ears,
The trivialities have,
suspended themselves over our heads for years. 
Smile, kill, wait, push,
you act so entitled,
you look so lush.
But the differences remain,
between the two of our skins. 
I've been waiting for this,
I have longed for the tears. 
You look so defiled,
with the cuts on your skin. 
The creature is between us,
you musnt try to win. 
But you act so hypnotized, 
the way you walked in. 

Where is my friend?
Please where did you go?
I've waited so long,
but you will never know. 
You look do distraught,
with the pain in your eyes,
I whisper to you slowly,
'Do you now wish to die?
You seem so disgusting,
you look so reposed. 
You can't stop the bleeding,
you have in your throat.'
You look up to me,
With the fear in your sighs
'I banish you deamon!
Please let me go!'

Is this what I am?
Some master in disguise?
I live in the hearts of men,
and control their whole lives.
I don't want you to go, 
but you will do anything but stay. 
I thought you were lost,
but you only found another way.
You live your life,
as I am distraught. 
I walk in the dark,
its all that I got. 

Remember me

Saturday, January 12, 2013

January 12th, 2013

I let you light the fire. 
I had you light the flames around us. 
I remember when your arms got caught,
within the blaze. 
Remember when you redeemed us. 
I try to forget all the best that you took from me.
I try to pass all the ruins you left me

I won't go. 

Like when you bleed from your eyes. 
You try to say that I'll forget.
You stop and wait for the signs.
Make me full of cold regret. 
Please I don't want to fight.
But your full of what's left said.

The boards are rattling. 
The floor is starting to collapse from under. 
I remember when you said that I make you scared.
I remember when your love was treason.
I cannot stand the pieces that you left for me. 
I cannot stand all the pain you left me. 


Like when you bleed from your eyes. 
You try to say that I'll forget.
You stop and wait for the signs.
Make me full of cold regret. 
Please I don't want to fight.
But your full of what's left said.

Remember me

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Some Sort Of Creature

I once fell in love with some sort of creature. 
All the violent nature taught me how to pray. 
Sometimes I try to be an honest man. 
But the pressure of the blood is building in my brain. 
All the windows and the doors learned how to shutter. 
The innocence is something just too wrong. 
The Technicolor of the loaded gun,
Something I've been waiting to see for very long. 

When all passion is left said and done
Remember I was here when the war was won
You need to suffer learn and die
If you leave me lost behind
I'll keep living on 

All the stars in the sky 
are not bright to us
We will down tear the four walls 
break all the boards
All the salt in the sand,
have no count on us. 
Just a headache,
in the roaring chorus. 

Now the food in my mouth is tasting sweeter. 
It reminds me of the days when I was young. 
I've been around the world to see all that I have done. 
To all the lines of the empty songs I sung. 

When all passion is left said and done
Remember I was here when the war was won
You need to suffer learn and die
If you leave me lost behind
I'll keep living on 

All the stars in the sky 
are not bright to us
We will down tear the four walls 
break all the boards
All the salt in the sand,
have no count on us. 
Just a headache,
in the roaring chorus. 

The time I catch up with tomorrow
I will cut and fuck the night away. 
Even if the rivers full of sorrow
I'll wake up and float through the day. 

The time I catch up with tomorrow
I will cut and fuck the night away. 
Even if the rivers full of sorrow
I'll wake up and float through the day. 

All the stars in the sky 
are not bright to us
We will down tear the four walls 
break all the boards
All the salt in the sand,
have no count on us. 
Just a headache,
in the roaring chorus. 

Remember me

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

May Be Sharper Than The Sound Act I: I, II & III


It was midnight when I received the call. I couldn't believe that anything could have been more precise than that moment but I was in for a little treat. Right on the dot, I couldn't understand severity of the situation that was on the other side of the line because I was so intrigued by that simple concept. As I rolled out of bed I told the officer on the other end of the line that he had to slow down, he was talking faster than a mind that could consume mass fabrications of information. 

'Where is this at?' I asked.

'Off center and fourth, you really must hurry.' And I did. If it wasn't for the entire regions police force at the crime scene I would have received a speeding ticket but I knew that this was big, from the way that it sounded. Everything was so confusing the officer said on the other line, like this was the work of a brilliant mind, someone who knew what he was doing. He had to know the victim personally from what the evidence could provide but I had my own individual theories. 

There has been a string of murders that have been happening in cities outside of our own, major populated cities but never in the same county. I guess that is what kept his tracks all neat and tidy that is if it was the same person, all for the name of a cult who sacrifices upon the heads of many. The counties don't speak about cases to one another so what is new for one county is a mystery in another, I knew this, they did not. It was a month into Fall, leaves crunched under my feet from the full grown trees that lined the streets all across town. 

By the time I crossed the police line I could see a thin dripping blood trail on the sidewalk and leaves as I was heading to the house. Gradually, it went from a slight drizzle to heaping handfuls that trailed on and off the sidewalk occasionally going into the gutter that separated the concrete from the street. He wasn't walking steady, even someone stupid could figure that out but then it led to the stairway. 

Police stood just outside the building right before the stairs. I looked at the stairs themselves and they were covered in blood and little pieces of metal. The blood spill covered each and every step that led up to the doorway and even on the door there was blood but it was more placed than spilled, I could tell this because it was in the form of writing on the door. One word over each other creating six lines spreading from the top of the door to the very bottom. Six simple words to create a very unique phrase yet confusing at the same time. I thought to myself as a few detectives that were talking a few feet away from me started to walk towards me while carrying on their conversation. What did this phrase even mean? As the detectives got in reasonable speaking distance I looked towards them.

'So where’s the body?'

'That’s a good question' responded one detective.

'The best bet is inside but we haven't even dared to take foot on the steps yet.' Responded the other.        

'And why is that?' The two officers looked at each other and one kicked his feet into the ground as the other spoke up.

'I know this sounds very unprofessional but we have told everyone to wait for you.' I hid a smile in the back of my mind and I thought to myself that it was a very wise move for them to do that. More police tape crossed the walkway to the first step up to the house; I walked under it and kept my head down as I crouched in front of the first step. The little pieces of metal that I originally saw in the midst of the blood looked shinier from up close. Whatever form they had before was now destroyed because it looked as if it was squished together but with closer examination I thought that they might just be in their original form but it wasn't metal. 

From the shine that glowed off of the pieces I could see that it wasn't metal but silver. Each piece had a distinct shape that looked like they laced in with another piece, a puzzle, as you will. I motioned to one of the forensics experts and told him to pick up all the tiny pieces that he could find and I walked away as he started. I walked back up to the two detectives and waited for their conversation to end before I interrupted. 
'Has anyone walked on these steps before you closed it off?' They looked at each other again as if they were conjoined twins waiting for approval from another. 

'Maybe.' Said one. 

'There’s no telling if someone has but no one will now. Everything is locked down and were just a few minutes away to see what's inside.' The forensics expert walked past me showing a little baggy of little pieces of silver and a puddle of blood. I looked back to the detectives and they reached towards their belts as they walked towards the steps and motioned to other police officers to follow them. I took a few steps back and watched as everyone gathered around the steps and the detectives started to debrief them. I looked down to my watch and noticed that it was ten till one as I rubbed my eyes and wished I went to bed sooner. 

I took my position on the nearby park bench that was just across the road from the apartment and relaxed. The city smog filled my nostrils and as I breathed in to realize that everything was moving in slow motion. Police officers rushed up the steps to the front door and kicked it in. As everyone rushed inside I looked around me to see falling leaves from the tree branches above me falling into my lap. Then neighbors’ trying to get a glimpse of what was happening from past the police line. Someone was swinging in a swing behind me, chains rattled and squeaked with every moment. Birds flew across the sky migrating to somewhere warmer and before I knew it I heard someone yelling my name. 

'Get over here!' Yelled one of the detectives from inside of the house. 'You need to see this!'


As I took my first step inside a deep smell of dampness filled my nostrils. It was more humid inside the house than it was outside and it was even raining. The house looked fairly normal aside from all of the buckets of blood that was splashed on the walls, ceiling and floor. The forensics team already entered and as I turned a corner I thought there was a flash mob of cameras as if my name was irrefutable. 

The whole house was one big serial number for evidence. I wouldn't really be sure if anything here would not be considered evidence as the solid fact is that whoever was here left his mark on everything. It only took a mere few seconds later until I heard a 'freeze! in the distance. I rushed towards where the noise originated and it first took me through the living room, then the dining room, then a kitchen. Every room of which was covered in blood and flesh and symbols that lined the walls and floors. Pieces of body parts hung from barbed wire that was placed within the ceiling of a small hallway, I ducked underneath them to reach another living room in which where the noise came from. 

Several SWAT officers stood a few feet away from a young man, pointing there guns at every limb of his body yelling various profanities to inflict damage on his own self esteem but he just sat there in his knees, praying. Praying with his hands clasped together wishing for some big outsider to whisk him away from all this madness and carnage—how sad. He sat in the middle of a circle of blood that was now staining the hardwood floor that we all stood on. Circle upon circle traced around him with strange pictures and text; I've seen this before but never while it was still on motion. I've always been a few days behind this cult but now, now everything has changed. It's as if I am now walking side by side by the messengers who offer riddles and puzzles and death. 

From the shape of the person’s body I could tell that it was a young man. Button down plaid shirt, jeans but shoes less as well. On his face, however, was a plain white mask of an ordinary face that you see on masquerade masks. He had a shaved head and earrings from what I could tell but something was off, he didn't move. An officer took a few steps closer to him and as he reached towards him, a handgun was taken from the holster and hid it behind his back. 

'Give me your hand sir.' the officer said to the man.' We will make it easy on you if you're easy on us. The man kept his hands clasped together but moved them so the officer could reach. The officer reached for his hand and pulled him to the ground forcing his two arms apart which sprayed blood everywhere.

'Damnit Mathison! We needed him alive!' Yelled one officer. I began to push myself between the officers that were toward the man and rushed to be directly by his side. I felt for a pulse on his neck yet none could be found--great. I carefully reached towards his face and took off the white mask he was wearing. Porcelain, the mask was heavy as I prepared to take it off. A red ribbon traced in little slots in the corner of the mask and a tie laid behind his head. I felt some wetness on my arms and as I looked down I noticed what was his cause of death. 

Steel wire was traced in the long sleeve arms of the shirt and underneath the skin of his wrists. When his arm was in the grasp of the officer, he dragged him down to the ground which caused enough tension underneath his arms which ripped out the steel wire in the mans wrists. Upon a closer look the steel wire was carefully sewn beneath his veins so they were ripped out causing death rather quickly. This was on both arms from his wrists all the way down to his elbows. I looked at his hands for a moment longer and I noticed something rather peculiar. His hands were small along with his fingers almost like a woman's. Then I put everything together. I quickly took off the mans mask and to my surprise, it was a woman. 

I heard a lot of murmuring behind me as I examined the face. Duck tape covered her mouth from saying anything and dried tears poured down her face. She was crying for help not whispering her prayers. There were reports of a woman screaming in the house along with that same woman screaming out in the streets for minute or two before she was taken back into the house. 

'This must be Elizabeth Mahoney.' Said an officer behind me. 

'She was the one who called the police.' Said a detective that walked in seconds after she died. 'She said a man abducted her son, two daughters and her husband. Said she was hiding in a closet and the abductee left the house but that didn't seem the case from what the neighbors said. A tall man with a white mask, that white mask. She would be the only one to see her face and she's dead right?' I turned around to nod to the detective. 'Right. With the help of our mutual friend here we will get even closer to who is doing this, with the cooperation of the other counties. Thank you for finding the patterns.' I nodded again and stood up to look down to the body. 

'What we are looking at is a different case from your normal serial killers.' I cleared my throat and continued. 'Whoever has done this, he has a ritual through all his kills but he ran out of time on this one. He knew Elizabeth was here because he took the rest of the family out of the house, like all the other scenes but this one was different because she was able to call the police and yell for help. It was something that turned this easy kill into one big mistake and that's why he left her alive. He wasn't going to have any enjoyment out of it so he left it for us but it is not certain if he knew that she would die which would make me believe that he should still be close.'

'I talked to one of the neighbors and she said that two men arrived and only one left with the family.' Said an officer in the crowd. This put everyone on their toes and I saw several others scanning the room.

'You checked all the rooms correct?' I asked. The detective straightened out his back and walked towards me. 

'All but the attic. This house has one but we can't find the entrance anywhere.' Just then, all of the officer’s radios went off and the dispatch on the other end began to talk. 

'Reporting to all officers. A man with blood on his hands has been spotted in a nearby park.' I thought to myself if that was the person who was behind me, the one in complete darkness. All the police officials rushed out of the house and I followed immediately after them. As soon as I stepped outside a rush of people surrounded the swings in the park and from my position I could see him lighted up from the police helicopter and car lights—he was covered in blood and so was the sand beneath his feet. He was melancholy but not suicidal he looked up to everyone around him. 

I rushed further up towards him onto the park bench that I was sitting on from before. As I positioned my feet so I could see over the surrounding officers I noticed a piece of paper. I looked back up to see the man talking and several people looked back to me and motioned me to head over. I jumped down from the bench and hurried towards him as I heard a few officers saying that he asked to see me, and then calling me by name. I walked past the crowd to see the young man on a swing with a knife in his hand pointed at his neck. 

'I’m a big fan of your work you know. I'm surprised to see that you are treating me like this, like a monster. I've done nothing wrong.'

'This is the first lead you gave us. Why are you doing this mister...?'

'Cheeky. You're cheeky thinking that I actually led you to something. That's really cute. You know, I just wanted to give you some insight, an understanding if you will. Understanding for all the chaos but you will see that my chaos is peace. To every road there is an end and one cannot be a individual thing in this end. The end is futile and will come with of without me.'

'But what should I call you?' I asked again. 

'Why can you not understand what life can be? I find this thing I have given to you very accepting.'

'Yes I do but I just wanted to know your name, can you tell me that?' He smiled to reveal his small teeth that were covered in blood. 

'Understanding I only want you to understand. To no longer be immune to what you want to see.’ I scratched my head in confusion to what he was saying then responded. 

'You want me to call you understanding?' He smiled again to show off his crooked grin. 

'That will do for now. He dropped his knife into the sand and kept a gaze right into my eyes as police officers pulled him to the ground and cuffed him. I hurried back to the bench to see the piece of paper now on the ground. On the outside it addressed my name and on the inside was several different words varying by length and meaning. None of the words from that moment correlated to another but certain words in the mess stood out to me. 

Suspension and triangle, sow and knife, eye and mask. These were some of the words that stood out in my mind though their meaning meant no significance for me. I sat back down on the bench confused to what everything means but why me in particular? I've felt the thrill of the chase and just now I was finally getting somewhere. It's been years since the first one of these scenes were discovered and although this man in particular was caught, I doubted that it was over. 

Understanding. That's what he wanted to be called. It somewhat makes sense if you really think about it. He's a serial killer and the one thing we don't understand is serial killers; why they do what they do, what controls them, how they feel in the grand scheme of things—I know I do. I examined the rest of the house after the police officials took the man away and everything grew more complicated in my mind. Various numbers littered the walls and various phrases such as 'Light is not eternal', 'Follow the mask of death' and an even stranger 'She is proud'.

'Give me a copy of every photograph you take.' I said to one of the forensics team. 'And make sure I get a chance to see that silver when you are done examining it.' He nodded as I walked away. There were no marks on the body of the woman till we got here so where did all the blood come from? And whose body parts are hanging from the ceiling? Most importantly was where is the missing family?

At every crime scene so far the family has gone missing and one member was left behind being offered as a sacrifice. The blood fills in all the crevices of shapes and symbols that were carved around the left behind victim. None of the other families have been found, which makes this the fourth missing. No silver pieces were left behind in any other scene and evidence of a murder only stood on the fact that the helpless individual was dead. No trace of anyone has been left but now—as I looked straight into the face of evil and what it brought to the worked upon the blood stained walls—I feel that I have just found them. 

I couldn't sleep when I got home later that night so I reviewed over the evidence that was found in the previous crime scenes till the sun came up. Soon as it turned to be a reasonable hour I received a call that the blood on Understanding was his own. Understanding cut himself wide open and bled all over himself yet, there were no large cuts over his body. His fingerprints were taken off by lye and he had no dental records that could be found anywhere—his identity will remain unknown. Nothing of Understanding could be linked to the crime scene yet there he was. I was told that he was to be sent to a mental ward because of his suicidal idealation but other than that; nothing else could have been done. 

'So you're telling me that he is going to be free? We know he did it why can't anyone else see that?'

'He’s not going to be free.' Said the Sergeant on the other line. 'He will be in a mental ward for a minimum of four weeks only if he shows sign of improvement and I doubt that he will. Take that time to review over what you have and tell me immediately if you find any leads. He's at the station right now being seen by a clinical psychologist, he's asking for you again.'

'All right. I'm on my way.' I hung up and put on the coat that was sitting on the chair I was sitting on my back. I made few movements when I was here from last night and I made fewer as I left.


'There are so many things I want to tell you. I know you've been aching to know. How we run. Where we settle. What we worship. I know you have figured out some but you are yet to see the practice, I should show you sometime when we get out of here.' I looked through the window to see several police officials scratching their heads on what they could turn into evidence but they jumped head first into deep waters, they couldn't make heads or tales out of it. 'I want to tell you more, but too many people are watching.' I looked behind me again to shrug at the officials outside and they motioned for me to talk to them. 

'Ill be back.' I pushed myself away from the table that was between us and walked outside to see the sergeant talking to several other higher up officials talking in a corner. 

'Get him to say as much as you can for the sake of the investigation but as soon as he's released from our custody I guess your research can come first. I doubt he will say anything to link him with the case but it’s worth a shot. The attorneys are saying that finding him in the playground was made to look like a suicide that began to happen conveniently before police arrived on scene. Nobody saw him enter or leave the house, it's almost as if he really is innocent. The only thing that can remotely tie him in is that he knows of you and this cult you're investigating and that's it. Yes the scene appears to be a cult killing but it's all based on one man. You. I'm sorry I think you are a very valuable source but no one else will think that way to turn the tides.' 

I knew of the situation and how it was all jumbled in some big mess so I nodded in return but a little feeling inside of me wished that he would get away just so I could follow this to the end but who knew of the grave consequences that could follow. I walked back into the room where Understanding sat and as I sat down he leaned in towards me. 

'So have you read my letter?'

'I have.' I said.  'But I don't understand it, what is it supposed to mean?' Understanding leaned back into his seat. 

'Oh no no no no no. That is for you to find out and me to wait for. I'm a very patient man you see and there is so much for you to learn.'

'Please tell me.' I said

'Once when I was young, my father took me to a roadway show. It was a play of a man who was coming of age and the trials he had to face before he could turn into a man. Much like myself at the time I was at my point in life that I wanted to understand what life was about.

'I want to become a man' I asked him. 

'In order to do that you need to understand the importance’s of mortality and realize that becoming a man only gets you even closer to death'.' He told me. 

'What must I do?' So after the show was over he was able to get me into the personal dressing room of the main coming of age character and he asked him from his own personal experience how did he know when he was ready to grow up? The young actor chuckled at my father saying that he was just acting and that this play took no involvement into his personal life. So my father hit him. When the young man came back to, he was now in a unfamiliar environment than what he was in previously. See, my father has this kill room in the basement of the house he raised me in and here was where he gutted the animals he killed from a previous hunt. He tied the poor man to a chair constricting his arms and legs to such a point that they were being constricted by the ropes around him. 

My father told me that I was to watch this man for an entire afternoon and listen to what he wanted to say and report to him by the time supper was ready but I was to never be within two feet of him. Later that day I told my father about how the young man was trying to weasel his way out of the situation and tried to reason with me to let him go even though I had no power or authority to release him. My father didn't like this one bit so he gave the man back one if his hands so he could cut off one of his fingers. So once this previously numb hand had a moment to feel again it felt the most of two worlds the sweet and the sour. Bliss and pain. You can't be enlightened unless if you find yourself at a standpoint. This is what my father taught me. Once I felt that I was stuck in one spot, like standing still in a grassy field, I then could move forward and move on. 

He then told me that I was to cut off one finger every hour till the young man realized that he was not going anywhere. One hour passed, one finger was taken, and then another, then another till he had one finger left. The young man was now in a depression, he could not take one more second of it so he did nothing. The only thing that passed his lips were shallow breaths of dread and disgust for the next hour. We were now at a stand still. 

'I’m glad that you finally realized that you aren't getting out of this.' My father told the young man. 'But because you now understand, it doesn't mean that this is over, it just means we can move on. He lost his hand with his last finger next and that brought out a new uproar out of the young man so he lost the other and he continued to yell and scream till he lost consciousness and eventually died. My father finally told me that if I wanted to move on to a new phase then I would have to leave something behind and that's what we all have to do if we want to change our habits or our everyday lives. Something needs to change and it has to leave us forever if we want to continue to move forward. 

So what I am now telling you is that if you want to learn something new about things that were previously hidden to you, then you have to leave everything you once believed behind you. Up can be down and white is now black. If you really want to know then you have to give up everything you have. Then when everything is up for grabs, that is when you can move on and only then will everything change.' I was speechless after he told his story yet it made sense in my head. I had to prepare myself to listen to other people’s beliefs and maybe just as everything is said and done I will no longer believe anything that was once known. 

Read the last part HERE

Remember me