Looking For Something?

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Who?

Theres a noose around my neck.
Words screaming unheard.
Chasing down those angels,
that never come home.
Can you hear me now?
No louder than a mouse.
Im hiding in the trees.
Im underneath your blouse.

Compromising my clarity.
Its all nonchalant.
Pierce my tongue
with a pitchfork you say.
Like Im seeing doubles.
Like I cannot stand.
Im like a blood donor,
no blood is on my hands.

Why, believe in god,
or take the drug,
or kiss your babe?
You going to run away?
You took everything
you asked for, so stop.
You stole all the things
you wanted, just stop.

Who is your saviour,
and who is your god?
Who is your saviour,
and who is your god?

I've been searching,
for what its worth.
I am living in a hearse.
You are psychotic and vain.
You are cold and perverse.

You settled in my heart,
sweeter than rain.
I caught your eyes
now I caught on fire

He's now bleeding for you,
you want to see his scars?
chasing down your demons
giving you flowers.

Can you hear me now?
No louder than a mouse.
Im hiding in the trees.
Im underneath your blouse.

Why, believe in god
or take the drug
or kiss your babe?
you going to run away?
You took everything
you asked for, so stop.
You stole all the things
you wanted, just stop.

Who is your saviour,
and who is your god?
Who is your saviour,
and who is your god?
Where are you going?
Who is your god?
Where are you going
Dont take the drugs.
Where are you going?
Kiss your babe.
Where are you going,
to run away?











Remember me















Monday, November 28, 2011

Straight Forward

Wake up in the morning at the break of dawn,
try to feel around me and I was wrong.
The Beauty is in my dreams.

Try to gain my sense to reality,
No one was ever here beside me,
I get up, try to forget.

Here is my life, it is pretty straight forward.
That is my soul, it is always around me.
These are my friends they never leave me.
Here is my heart, beating and broken.
This is my path, no mistakes and.
This is my song, hear all my feelings.
That is the night, always awake.
Here is my life, Its pretty straight forward.

I cant seem to focus,
to much on my mind.
A girl in black and blue.
I cant leave her behind.
I swear ive seen her somewhere.
Do I even know her name?

This is stirring up my confusion,
more deja vu.
Its time to go somewhere,
friends and public is what I need.
To find sweetie miss confusion,
in black and blue.

Here is my life, it is pretty straight forward.
That is my soul, it is always around me.
These are my friends they never leave me.
Here is my heart, beating and broken.
This is my path, no mistakes and.
This is my song, hear all my feelings.
That is the night, always awake.
Here is my life, Its pretty straight forward.

I cant believe ive seen her.
The angel of my dreams.
To get my heart already broken,
while she kisses a man in green.
Stay up all night, I try to brush you off.
A friends support is what I need,
to help pick me up.

Here is my life, it is pretty straight forward.
That is my soul, it is always around me.
These are my friends they never leave me.
Here is my heart, beating and broken.
This is my path, no mistakes and.
This is my song, hear all my feelings.
That is the night, always awake.
Here is my life, Its pretty straight forward.

Wake up in the morning at the break of dawn,
try to feel around me and I was wrong.
The Beauty is in my dreams.








Remember me 









Saturday, November 26, 2011

Conversations with Cut Throats (2 of 3)



     As I was following my 'executioner' down the hall I couldn't help but notice a look of disgust on every singles persons face as I passed them. Several were crying others were yelling at me and the rest were crying and well, yelling at me. Every so often I saw some patients--the loopy ones--and they were giggling and laughing, though I don't think they even fully understand what just happened. My throat got dry increasingly as I got further and further down the hall, like I had a valley of sand and the hot sun just sitting in the back of my throat for all the vacationers to visit in the off seasons. I was then about to pass a drinking fountain to my left but I looked behind me to see what was behind me and every single person I passed was following me and all I could see was more people, I decided not to stop, I didn't want to sign a death warrant. 

     So I continued forward down the cramped hall, brushing elbows with orderlies and nurses and patients from all the wards in this one hallway. Several people were peaking out of the doors to see what the commotion was all about and to be honest, even though I knew what happened, I was too. Beads of sweat fell down my cheek and I realized that I was sweating profusely, I felt calm--its not like I killed anyone--but my body really had a sense to disagree with me. So I raised my arm and wiped my brow and as I did that, I glanced upwards to see the ceiling and it seemed like it went for miles. Fluorescent lights and speckled ceiling tiles that look like they have never been cleaned for millennia. I could only hope that nothing on the ceiling was going to eat me then I could have sworn I saw a speck move and what seemed little at first, and then showed up more noticeably. 

     There they were, the beautiful couple dancing on the ceiling. They almost seemed like little specks at first but they grew larger and more detailed as seconds passed like a oncoming train. Just twirling and spinning and I could only feel to join them. To dance down the hall with an imaginary partner, twirling and spinning with the beautiful couple that I grew to be so fond of just mimicking their every move as I was to be learning from the masters. They were their full size as usual and their bodies occasionally went through the others that were standing in the hallway. No one noticed the dancers but it was the same thing with the other party. They were just dancing to their hearts content like there was no one left in the room. They soon sped up to pass several feet in front of me and then they continued further down the never-ending hallway and then took a sharp right. 

     I then moved my gaze back to the man that was leading me to god knows what and he then took a turn to the right. Obviously the couple knew where we were going so I said to myself, see you there. I looked around to see if people heard me and I noticed that the people thinned out and only one or two were left a little in the distance. Behind me was what appeared to be an angry mob--though lacking the fire and pitchforks--I had a sigh of relief because they kept their distance as if I was radioactive, which I wasn't to my knowledge. I then reached the fork in the road and I took my right to see the mysterious executioner waiting several yards down the hall looking right at me, hands crossed and standing in the middle of the hall--to prevent me to run away I guess.

     A few seconds passed and I reached the point to face the strange man that I have been following. He was old, almost ancient. He was covered with wrinkles, had no hair and had this grey somewhat bushy beard falling a foot and wrapping around his mouth up to his ears. He didn't look as if he was angry with me like the rest of my fellow patrons. Instead it looked like he had compassion in his eyes and a little grin on his face like he had mischievous ideas to pull on me. Other than that he looked like the rest--white jacket, black pants, shiny black shoes. He then moved his right arm up and signaled for me to head into the room to his right. The door was even open like I was some cripple that couldn't even lift up a finger, though I was skeptical on what was going to happen I continued into the room and everything to the tiniest little things that laid in the room stood as a shock to me. 

     The room had twelve-foot ceilings and the length of it was like it was like a minute of running to the other end. The door I just entered was in the lower left corner if the person who was looking in the room ascended above to see it as if everything was a floor plan of a house. The room looked like it was a chapel because to my right were benches all the way to the other end while facing away from me. This followed all the way across the room with a hallway in the middle. I continued to walk in and I noticed that all the benches in the room were destroyed or defiled in some way. I walked to the first set of benches to get a closer look and it looked as if everything catastrophic swooped through into the room and then lingered for a while. I stood in awe and then the man who led me in approached behind me and whispered in my ear, 'What I want you to see is on the stage'. Acknowledging this I continued forward passing broken bench to broken bench to approach this stage that was mentioned to me.

     Now, I noticed that this room was more like an auditorium or rather even a theater instead of a chapel. What I was approaching was a wooden stage risen a few feet off the ground but what I was passing became more than broken benches. As I got closer to the stage little by little I noticed blood was all over the benches and the closest ones to the stage were just drenched in this liquid life force. I was just a few feet from the stage and I heard and felt a puddle from underneath my feet. Because I was only just woken up and we were indoor, I never bothered to put on my shoes. So here I was bare footed, in a theater, angry mob from behind and nearly ankle deep in blood. I felt a little turning in my stomach but since the last week or two has been more than eventful, I have grown to build a tolerance to blood. 

     So just like before, I continued forward--it was the only direction that I really could go. I noticed a slight waterfall of you know what was pouring down the stage as I ascended the stairs--trying not to slip on the same, you now what. I looked forward and I saw the dancing couple in the far left corner--still on the ceiling of course--above the presumable source of the blood. There laid a man laying on his back but being partially held up by the corner wall. As with the other bodies that I have found in the past, he was covered in blood, preventing anyone to make an identification on which it was from a distance. I walked closer and saw the blood trail to him but I also saw another trail still heading forward if you were still ascending the stairs down some more stairs at the end of the stage into a dismal abyss that I couldn't see because it was so dark down the hallway. I reached the body and I couldn't tell you which body part was not cut wide open. The most noticeable however, was a slit on the mans throat nearly going all the way around his neck.

     Blood was all over the walls and the ceiling and while I was looking up I noticed that the couple also was covered in blood. From their bodies the blood dripped down towards me--up for them--and even though everything about them seemed so real, by the time the blood hit the ground, nothing was added to the puddles that were already present. I was seeing things and so the disease that I tried so hard to get a rid of has finally shown itself to me, so I embraced it into my warm home with my very own stone cold hands. My formerly known executioner walked up behind me again as whispered in my ear a second time saying 'their is too much blood for one body, we need to follow the trail to see where the others are. I’m sure you know who this man is'. As a matter of fact I did, I knew exactly who the owner of the lifeless body was and for a second, I could have sworn I had a grin of delight.                            


Next up in Listening For That Sweet Tune:




Conversations with Cut Throats (3 of 3) Pt. 1










Remember me


Friday, November 25, 2011

Black Dress, Blood Red




Im so close to the end.
I would love to show you,
dresses couloured dead.
I mean it, will you
fill up all the broken hearts?
then clean up all the dark?
Its like were all slowly dying!

Her black dress, with blood red,
filling out a proper fantasy.
I'll cross my heart, then fall to pieces.
I hope we die when no one sees us

I can be, those favorite
voices you have, singing to you.
I'll cross my heart, cut it to pieces.
I hope I die when you leave us

Theres to much tragedy to let us in
Now its time to watch you fall apart.
Theres to much tragedy to let us in
I should have known you were,
jealous from the start.

I treated you like a queen,
but now I feel like a pauper.
Playing in the muck.
All I do is wait,
is that all we do?
There is blood on the ground
lies crawling in the skin.

But im sayin, were in shambles.
Like porcelain cups,
crushing under feet.
Lets try not to fight, though I tear up your letters.
Living a life?
Or should I just disappear?



Ill close my fist and clench it tight,
then you'll see its right.
You were wrong
and you never really did understand me.
Ill tear these walls and and we will all see,
the chains will always try to bind me
Like everyone of us.
Its like were all slowly dying!


Her black dress, with blood red,
filling out a proper fantasy.
I'll cross my heart, then fall to pieces.
I hope we die when no one sees us


I can be, those favorite
voices you have, singing to you.
I'll cross my heart, cut it to pieces.
I hope I die when you leave us





















Remember me


















Thursday, November 24, 2011

Slow Song (With a Technicality)




     Putting things on another note to be separate to all my other writings, I would like to express gratitude to all my readers. Though most of my readers are predominantly in the United States I especially enjoy the readers that I see in other countries. Going down the countries who read my blog I see I have readers from range from Russia, France, Malaysia, Germany, Slovenia, United Kingdom, and Australia to name a few. With that in mind I could only encourage you to spread the word of 'The Poet' to all you know who will appreciate the content appropriately. Also you can follow my blog so you can receive messages whenever I release a new post and all you have to do is put down your Email address and a name to identify yourself to me, though if you want to remain anonymous, more mystery I have in my life.

     You can Email me and I will accept and respond to all questions, ideas and excetera. The address is: 

EverydayAverageArtist@msn.com, just like my domain name. 

     I have received few from here so far and Im open to anything. Take note that I have a heavy duty spam filter. I should receive all messages from actual human Emails--though if you are an AI that understands the natural human emotion and enjoys my writing, you are not exempt, in fact Im flattered. But with this being one of the few blog entries I have had actually addressing YOU, I wont leave you empty handed. Below should follow a poem that I have been writing for some time now, obviously it has been recently finished. So for the moment Im done with the technicality, now lets head back into 'The Life'







There is a light, 
there is a fire. 
Lost full of doubt, 
please stay for a while.
There is a light, 
there is a fire. 
Lost full of doubt, 
please stay for a while.

As I lay, in this bed
I am talked to, by a liar.
Like a claim, without end.
Some ever going riddle.

Can I stand, without her?
I cant see you going forward.
Its a claim, without end.
Like a never ending riddle.

I made a grave, of flowers,
to decorate your aisle.
Wish, what you want girl,
love wont be there for a while.

This is when,
I rip off the dressings,
show you all my scars.
And make you wonder if you ever loved me.

Try to call it, im running with my head off.
All this water is pouring down my lungs.
With all these thoughts, well,
its almost just like suicide.
As you walk through these streets
you know they're mine.


I tried to salvage everything that I once had.
I need to do something but it is not enough.
I feel my heart beating and my days receding.
I can never see your love.

You have, a new heart,
its fit with all the piercings.
To fill that deep hole,
that you made.
There's a brand, new me,
inside this new kind of a slow song.
With a brand, new face,
that you know, I can easily fake.


Try to call it, im running with my head off.
All this water is pouring down my lungs.
With all these thoughts, well,
its almost just like suicide.
As you walk through these streets
you know they're mine.


I tried to salvage everything that I once had.
I need to do something but it is not enough.
I feel my heart beating and my days receding.
I can never see your love

Never ending speech, deep within my mind.
You know what they say, you know what they hide.
Never ending speech, deep within my mind.
You know what they say, you know what they hide.














Remember me











Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The Child: Entry 5


STOP
Have you read the preceding chapters?
If not then read it from the beginning
or
Read the preceding chapter...



The Beginning:



Previously on The Child:


Entry 4   




  

      Upon reaching the building conjuntioning to the diner I noticed something peculiar about Frankie. He couldn't walk straight as if he was drunk or even had a broken leg. I tried to compare him to the picture of the man in the wheel chair I saw earlier--I couldn't find any similarities. So it was strange that he walked in such a way. I followed him into the building and it looked like a hurricane trashed the whole place. I could have sworn to see water damage in every corner of the building and in my reaction of being appalled Frankie turned around to see my reaction. 

     


'Ever since I had my leg amputated I haven't been able to clean clean anything.' as he hit his right leg and I heard a little ding. 'S s sorry if it isn't up to your your standardizing standards.' I told him that it was all perfectly fine, so he continued.
     
'You, you know I haveity have lived here for more than ten, ten years, ten.' He walked behind a counter just a few feet from me and I heard a few buttons beep and the cash register popped open with another ding and he pushed it back in. He then proceeded to leave the building and motioned me to follow and continued to talk.'
   
'Little ole Suzie Sue--the young waitress you met last night--has been by my been side ever since I can remember, she she is thirty something some. My birthday is defiantly, birth, around the corner.' He stopped in his steps for a few seconds to think then started up again. 'I could swear I’m approaching s s seventy...I lost count count.' I thought this was strange because every time I looked at him I could have sworn he didn't look a day over forty so I brought it up.

     'You know, you don't look old whatsoever.' He laughed then stopped at my bike and responded.

     'Welly well well I wouldn't be able to explain that to you but I can assure you, I’m old. On another note nobody is allowed to pump their own gas.' I realized my hand was on the pump ready to take it out and he was motioning to give it to him. Then I noticed he already got everything else all ready and in seconds he started to fill up my tank. He continued, 'though I have enjoyed S S Suzies company for years now she has been happily been married. The mans a ghost, good luck in seeing him. Im surprised she was even able to get to know him enough to have a relationship with him. Like I said before good luck if you want to see or talk to him.' The split second he finished talking the pump made that click of being full. He prepared anything leaned on the pump station and looked at me in the most seriousness I have ever seen in my life so far. 

     

'I want you to talk to Suzie before you leave. I’m sure she might have something for you to do in return for the fuel and food. If she doesn't come up with anything I need you to ask her "Why she didn't pursue her hopes and dreams" she will know what you mean and she wont get mad at you. I know that she has some unsettled business with an old friend that you can help her with.' Midway through his intense gaze I noticed his left eye. Though still white and still lacking a pupil it looked as if I saw the missing pupil peeking out of the corner of his eye as if it was playing hide and seek and then for an assurity I know it did because It came out even more and I could see the whole pupil. His skin started to change colours to a pale and his skin started to wrinkle and he noticed that I was witnessing his changes. He turned around and limped away yelling 'just remember what I said!' 

I stood in astonishment for a few seconds because I really don't know what I just witnessed. I scratched my head and I started to walk to the bumbling diner. Walked in and it was as if everyone that was in here before was in there exact same places other than ole Frankie Frank in his seaty seat. I proceeded to sit down exactly where I was seated before and after a few minutes of chaos Suzie stopped in front of me, placed her hands on the counter and asked what I needed. I spaced out on asking if there was anything first and I got straight to the point out of curiosity and I asked why she didn't pursue her hopes and dreams. She stopped every movement of fidgetiness she had and it looked like as if she was suspended in animation and then spoke.

     'That sonuvabitch.' She turned around to face the partition in between the diner and the kitchen. I heard some conversation then she turned around to hand me a piece of paper folded a hundred and a half times--at least it seemed like it then she continued. 'Don’t open this until you reached your next destination for rest, everything is there and you shouldn’t have any questions. I know you don’t know what it is right now but can you do it?' I paused for a second and I nodded, she nodded back and then we continued to our lives. I never turned around to get another glance to see if she was looking but I could feel a thousand eyes of everyone in the diner looking at the back of my head.

Next entry in The Child:













Remember me


Monday, November 21, 2011

Shadows

Shadows of my scars always lay deep under my skin,
as the darkness forgotten, the pain within.
I lost a will, I cannot breathe.
Blood will soon come out of me
and you know I live like this

You know I cant live this way, ay ay.
I cant live this way.
You know I cant live this way, ay ay.
I cant live this way.

A pain crawls right through my heart.
It will not end, it has left its mark, in me.
Im now alone, with my shadows to haunt,
Seeing my life's truths, all that I have.

You know I cant live this way, ay ay.
I cant live this way.
You know I cant live this way, ay ay.
I cant live this way.

I live my last days in this corner, curled up,
believing in my thoughts and nowhere to hide
You know I cant live this way,
You know I cant live like this








Remember me











Sunday, November 20, 2011

Conversations with Cut Throats (1 of 3)




Proceeded by:


TBA





     All I could hear was pounding on the door. For the past few days I have been lying in bed in total darkness pondering all that can happen and all that will. If I will ever eat a meal again or maybe if I would even go to the bathroom. Come to think of I have been here undisturbed for the past two days just wishing the world would go away and when an urgency hits on my door and breaks my sense of peace I can only wonder when was the last time I emptied my bladder--two days. I then flipped myself on my stomach placed my face into my pillow and screamed on the top of my lungs every expletive I have ever known following each word with a letter--in descending order--of the alphabet. 

     For the past several days I have needed to do some meditation to try to figure out what has been happening. Ever since I first woke up about a week ago I had a condition of not knowing or remembering anything that has happened in the past. Mind you I still knew how to breathe, eat, talk but all of the events that should be in my memory is gone. To make things even weirder it’s as if a series of murders are following me and I winded up at a mental hospital in the middle of nowhere, but I’m not a patient mind you. With this said I only want to explain that with screaming out filth to some or stupidity to others I only want to make sure I know the standard English alphabet. When I reached the end of my tantrum I am glad to inform you that I still have knowledge but as soon as I tuned back into the real world to hear a yelling accompanied with a series of thumping's on a door--which just a few feet from the foot of my bed--I realized that accompanying my newfound knowledge of the ABC's I discovered I had angst, rage and a migraine.

     It was the yelling that got me; obviously something was more urgent than I originally thought. By the time I got to my feet the urgency I kept hearing on the other side of the door subsided to a complete halt. Everything grew silent and I felt as if the whole panic on the other side of the door had to deal with a current ongoing invasion from a far more intelligent race. It could have been green aliens, maybe a robot invasion or my worse fear, sperm whales that through a few millennia of evolution they grew the intellect and two sturdy legs to destroy the human race with their own foreign weapons. Now obviously all of these were wrong and I heard a yelling on the other side of the door followed by a huge crash and a finely dressed man falling through the now broken door. He fell to the ground and I just stood there partially astonished to see that there is currently an emergency that someone felt they had to destroy a door, part disappointment that I didn’t get the chance to see a sperm whale with legs and lastly blindness because at this point I realized that I haven’t seen the light of day--or even artificial light --for the past two days now. 


     It was one of the doctors from the other ward and he looked as if something life changing was about to happen. As he walked towards me his oversized jacket brushed everything he walked over and it pushed debris as if his jacket was a broom, and then a fist. The man was obviously troubled about something I did because by the time I came to, the split second I opened my eyes, he spat in my face. I couldn't tell you enough how disgusting this was and I started to worry about germs, Hep C, or even some STD's that travel through bodily fluids. Obviously my mind wasn't in the right place right now so I tried to focus and I muttered out my first words for two days. 'What the hell is your problem?' He looked at me as if he was some kind of animal ready to tear me apart to shreds and then another man walked in. 


     All I could see was his silhouette and through his motions he wasn't trying to be all mysterious because he reached to his right and flipped the switch to turn the lights on. In a tantrum days earlier, I smashed all of the lights that were in my room because I wanted nothing to do with the outside world--I guess the outside world needed me, and a rude awakening that was. He stood over me with this black shadow like a monolith to block my ever seeing vision but I knew I could still see because I could still see that pissed off doctor in the corner of my eye. He stood over me a little bit longer and my mind went into full overdrive. I imagined that he was literally an executioner with the medieval mask and everything and he was ready to just chop off my head. That’s as far as I could go with it because he then started to speak.


     'Your friend has been murdered.’ I sat there just trying to gain my composition with the present news and I just couldn't believe that something like this has happened. I stood up and I motioned for him to lead the way. The man turned around and started to leave the room being followed by the other doctor. I looked out the door and I could have sworn every living being on the other side of the threshold. I began to walk out the door and I could have sworn I was walking to my own execution.



Next up in Listening For That Sweet Tune:


Conversations with Cut Throats (2 of 3)















Remember me

Friday, November 18, 2011

The Human Populace



     When stripped of everything you have whether it be what you own or the people you love around you, or religion or whatever you hold dear to your heart, we become savage. All mentally stable humans that have a common sense of reality when taken away from everything present you have will fight for their very own survival. Though very pessimistic I find this to be true, like everything else we are apart of we are still one with everything else, we are animal. It doesn’t comfort me when I take a approach saying that all humans are naturally evil but seeing everything around me I find this to be what we are apart of in everyday society.

     We are sinners, we are whoremongers, the prime factor in us is self gratification, yet we still have that light in us that helps us to show grace. We have the determination to compel to do what we want whither it be for our own salvation or the help of others. What might you say is this? Though we are animal, this separates us from the rest, we have a surplus of good and rewarding actions. Not all of us operate just for the benefit of ones self, though we do come across this more often in present day circumstance. Most politicians are for own personal gain, television personalities are dog eat dog, and the media always tries to put you down. This is, as we know it, our present day reality and this makes us more and more like robots or creatures without a simple view of what we care about and what we need are two different things, than what we call the human populace.

     With everything we have to this day we become more immune to what people throw at us but is this immune a defense or numbing of? We can say that we are good people in this present day but if you look hundreds or even thousands of years into the past the human populace would look at us and claim that even the most culturally acceptable man would be a devil. Why is this? Is it because we are numb? Or do we just advance as fast as technology does? We are keeping up with the times and that is killing our own morals and our own self actualization, we are truly becoming a lost people, a phrase I like to say a lot 'becoming a dyeing breed.

     Look at everyone in the world, look at this man, look at that woman, who do you seem fit to become a leader? Who do you trust the most to hold your secrets? In all reality none of us are because of the single fact of emotion. Every living person has an Intelligence Quotient lower than seventy when emotion comes into play. We make stupid mistakes, we do stupid things and we do them even more while emotionally evolved than when we become intoxicated, whatever substance it may be. But this thing we call emotion becomes very important to us. It enables us to do what we feel that feels right, it helps us to cope with everyday things and it especially separates us from everything else because that is what makes us human. If we had no emotion we would have no mercy we would have no compassion we would have no care in the world what others think and we would do everything for our own personal gain. Does this mean that this generation is becoming more animatronic than past generations? I would say so.

     We lack emotion, that is simple enough. We watch our murder investigations, we kill our fellow men, we do what we please, every one of us and we say we do this all because its entertainment. We are becoming numb to what society has to offer and we are becoming no greater than the machine, in fact we are becoming just like them. We are becoming immune to what this world to offer and at the pace that we have been going at, we can no longer turn back. We look at dead bodies on television though our own eyes and we do not realize that that body is no longer in motion, that that body has lost all of its human characteristics and I weep. Because we are just like those lifeless bodies on the ground and in the lakes, we have become just like them everything we know is over and we can now start trusting those lifeless bodies more than our fellow man. Humans deceive, humans are cruel, and humans are war freak psychopaths, and there is nothing else that we can do.

     We created this, even me, even you the fellow reader and I think to myself what can we do? Unity, have moral convictions that we are growing more and more to lack, stop following the main stream and do something that you please to do for your very own self. Now this sounds like what we are trying to avoid, but it isn’t. Fighting for your own personal salvation physically and socially is different than fighting for your salvation interpersonally and mentally. Treat others like your own, let them do what they want because it is there life but be there to help them when times get rough. You might now think I am contradicting myself, but im not. There are different levels and paths for every single thing you do and if you do it equally, overall and collectively it will never hurt the thing formally known as the human populace. Extremes is what hurts people, people that do thing in either black or white, people that have no understanding for their fellow man.

     Show that acceptance for others, and accept yourself, do yourself a favor and do what you always wanted to do. For you are a rock and neither the winds nor the oceans will tear you apart for as long as you don’t let them. Don’t create the illusions of what you think make you happy. Always remember individuality is key and will be our very own salvation when everything that seems wrong stares us in the face. I wish you the best of luck, the generation formally known and the human populace. I wish you the best of years.


























































Remember me











































Thursday, November 17, 2011

Amicus Est Tanquam Alter Idem Pt. 1





Only Knew 


What if I had only known?


What if life would have played,
out the way I wanted it to?
As if it was happiness,
instead of sorrow.

What if if I would have
only held you in?

What if you could have really seen me?

As if I was the sad and hurt.
Instead of the crazy and put up?

What if I didn't lose you?
I could have seen you grow.
I could have learned to loved you.

What if I would have told you?
Then would you care?
Would it have changed anything?

What if I would have love the name,
alive and smiling,
not cold and lifeless?

What if I told you?
I was still alive?
Not lost and gone.
What if I only knew?

I would have held you in.











Remember them 













Wednesday, November 16, 2011

She



She thinks im pretty,
but with all the cuts in my arms
I seem to disagree.
She makes me happy, in the first degree
but she is there for me.
You see im so sad,
but she loves me.
You see im so sad,
but she still loves me.



She doesn't need me,
she says that she loves me.
I tell her that I mean it,
but she wont forget me.
She doesn't need me,
she says that she loves me.
I tell her that I mean it,
she wont ever forget me.

Around her angel wings,
she is perfect and amazing.
I cant breathe when im around her,
though she makes me feel,
like im in heaven.
She never needs to see me,
she says that she loves me.
I tell her im so worthless,

but she will never forget me.
She never needs to see me, 
she says that she loves me.
I tell her im so worthless,
but she never will ever! Forget me.

So the day finally came, and I snapped,
I cannot take this anymore.
She came by and she wrapped,
her sweet arms, her sweet arms around me!
She is to good for me, and I still don't change
She is to good for me, why wont I change?

You tell me don't worry,
tell it doesn't matter,
but it does.
You tell me that im kind,
and that I should stay away.
you don't say the things
that you should do
but to smile on another day
how can I do these things,
when you change so constantly?
Save from my confusion and comfort me,
save from my confusion and comfort me.


She doesn't need me,
your the light of my life.
I tell her that I mean it,
your my better half.
I tell her im so worthless.
She will never,
forget me.
She will never,
forget me.





























Remember me













































Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Wont Be There



The Photographs of you in my mind,
I know now they will die.
Been loosing your image like you disappeared,
Soon be gone, soon be dead.
Soon be gone, soon be dead.
Im sorry, this is who I am.

I should have known not to give you my heart,
destined to take from the very start.
On my own, I wont be there.
Cry somewhere else I wont be there,
Cry somewhere else I wont be there.

Your a self induced coma, deep in my head.
I forgot it all, I left everything behind.
You were written in ink, never wanted to fade,
now look at our pages, they are ripped and stained.
You disappeared, where did you go?
You disappeared, where did you go?

I should have known not to give you my heart,
destined to take from the very start.
On my own, I wont be there.
Cry somewhere else I wont be there,
Cry somewhere else I wont be there.

I never will see you again,
Its hard to say, but its been said.
So say goodbye, I wont be there.

I should have known not to give you my heart,
destined to take from the very start.
On my own, I wont be there.
Cry somewhere else I wont be there,
Cry somewhere else I wont be there.


































Remember me






















Sunday, November 13, 2011

The Child: Entry 4


STOP
Have you read the preceding chapters?
If not then read it from the beginning
or
Read the preceding chapter...



The Beginning:



Previously on The Child:



     I woke up late the next morning. By the time the nice woman led me to my bed I could have sworn that I just fell over and slept hard enough to be put into a coma. It was only the next day. I got out of the rather small bed I was laying in and I made sure I made the bed. Behind me was a window and sunlight poured in and on my back while I was in the process of tidying up the room and I finished before the sun had a chance to give me third degree burns. The room was rather small and when I looked to the table on the side of my bed I noticed a black and white picture of two people.


     The picture had a big field of overgrown grass in the background and a rather large building on the right but still very far back. Connected from the building all the way to the very front of the photo was an old cobblestone path. Traveling on the path--also posing for the photographer--was the woman who showed me to this room and a old man in a wheelchair being pushed along by that same woman. The man in the wheelchair looked as if he was dead but he had a sparkle in his eyes as if this was the joy in his life. I knew the woman was the same one from earlier because her hair was practically longer than from what it is currently. I then remembered that I needed to get some breakfast as per a thanks to letting me stay last night. So I grabbed my jacket and headed out the door.

     Upon turning the corner to see the front of the diner I noticed several cars in the parking lot and several more pulling in. I looked over at the pumps at the gas station and my Triumph was still where I left it-- I guess I should have moved it to a more convenient spot last night. I hurried inside and I was surprised to see that the very diner that was vacant last night was nearly full and booming with business. I saw families, businessmen, truckers and even the suspicious group of expensively dressed men with dark sunglasses on while keeping there head down under the newspapers their reading to prevent them from being seen. I continued all the way to the end and I sat on the bar stool that I was standing by last night.

     From out back the longhaired lady came out from around the corner with her hands full carrying two plates. She walked right in front of me and gave me one and then gave the other to the man to my right. It was as if she knew I was here the second I walked through the door or even knew when I woke up so she could prepare my food. Though not to creepy I still felt a shiver down my spine because this place was very 'peculiar'. I looked up to see her face and she blinked a few times and pointed to the man to my right, getting mine and the mans attention to each other. I looked at him and then he glanced at me for a second to turn away to start eating the food in front of him. Upon that little glance I could say he looked fairly normal but he was lacking a pupil in his left eye to give me an even weirder feeling of chills down my spine. Upon finishing the scrambled eggs in front of him he cleared his throat and turned to look at me, then speaking to interrupt my persistent thoughts.

     'Hey hey hey, they call me Frankie Frank Frank...Yeah.' I was surprised to hear the constant clarifying of words and before I was able to speak back he said 'yeah' two more times. Feeling safe that I wouldn't be interrupting him I responded.

     'So you're the guy I’m supposed to talk to, to fill up my bike?' 

     'Yes yes yes,' he responded 'I’m currently on a lunch break break but when I’m finish-break I can help you in no time time time, yes yes yes'. 

     I was overwhelmed by his speech but I guess this was something people got a used to. I nodded to confirm that I understood him and I turned to face my food that I have not yet even looked at. Pancakes, bacon, hash browns, sausage, eggs, a biscuit and a rather large blueberry muffin. I didn't anticipate eating this full meal but my eyes became larger than my stomach and I feasted as if I was eating my last supper. 



Next entry in The Child:




Entry 5 


































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