Conversations with Cut Throats (1 of 3)

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     All I could hear was pounding on the door. For the past few days I have been lying in bed in total darkness pondering all that can happen and all that will. If I will ever eat a meal again or maybe if I would even go to the bathroom. Come to think of I have been here undisturbed for the past two days just wishing the world would go away and when an urgency hits on my door and breaks my sense of peace I can only wonder when was the last time I emptied my bladder--two days. I then flipped myself on my stomach placed my face into my pillow and screamed on the top of my lungs every expletive I have ever known following each word with a letter--in descending order--of the alphabet. 

     For the past several days I have needed to do some meditation to try to figure out what has been happening. Ever since I first woke up about a week ago I had a condition of not knowing or remembering anything that has happened in the past. Mind you I still knew how to breathe, eat, talk but all of the events that should be in my memory is gone. To make things even weirder it’s as if a series of murders are following me and I winded up at a mental hospital in the middle of nowhere, but I’m not a patient mind you. With this said I only want to explain that with screaming out filth to some or stupidity to others I only want to make sure I know the standard English alphabet. When I reached the end of my tantrum I am glad to inform you that I still have knowledge but as soon as I tuned back into the real world to hear a yelling accompanied with a series of thumping's on a door--which just a few feet from the foot of my bed--I realized that accompanying my newfound knowledge of the ABC's I discovered I had angst, rage and a migraine.

     It was the yelling that got me; obviously something was more urgent than I originally thought. By the time I got to my feet the urgency I kept hearing on the other side of the door subsided to a complete halt. Everything grew silent and I felt as if the whole panic on the other side of the door had to deal with a current ongoing invasion from a far more intelligent race. It could have been green aliens, maybe a robot invasion or my worse fear, sperm whales that through a few millennia of evolution they grew the intellect and two sturdy legs to destroy the human race with their own foreign weapons. Now obviously all of these were wrong and I heard a yelling on the other side of the door followed by a huge crash and a finely dressed man falling through the now broken door. He fell to the ground and I just stood there partially astonished to see that there is currently an emergency that someone felt they had to destroy a door, part disappointment that I didn’t get the chance to see a sperm whale with legs and lastly blindness because at this point I realized that I haven’t seen the light of day--or even artificial light --for the past two days now. 

     It was one of the doctors from the other ward and he looked as if something life changing was about to happen. As he walked towards me his oversized jacket brushed everything he walked over and it pushed debris as if his jacket was a broom, and then a fist. The man was obviously troubled about something I did because by the time I came to, the split second I opened my eyes, he spat in my face. I couldn't tell you enough how disgusting this was and I started to worry about germs, Hep C, or even some STD's that travel through bodily fluids. Obviously my mind wasn't in the right place right now so I tried to focus and I muttered out my first words for two days. 'What the hell is your problem?' He looked at me as if he was some kind of animal ready to tear me apart to shreds and then another man walked in. 

     All I could see was his silhouette and through his motions he wasn't trying to be all mysterious because he reached to his right and flipped the switch to turn the lights on. In a tantrum days earlier, I smashed all of the lights that were in my room because I wanted nothing to do with the outside world--I guess the outside world needed me, and a rude awakening that was. He stood over me with this black shadow like a monolith to block my ever seeing vision but I knew I could still see because I could still see that pissed off doctor in the corner of my eye. He stood over me a little bit longer and my mind went into full overdrive. I imagined that he was literally an executioner with the medieval mask and everything and he was ready to just chop off my head. That’s as far as I could go with it because he then started to speak.

     'Your friend has been murdered.’ I sat there just trying to gain my composition with the present news and I just couldn't believe that something like this has happened. I stood up and I motioned for him to lead the way. The man turned around and started to leave the room being followed by the other doctor. I looked out the door and I could have sworn every living being on the other side of the threshold. I began to walk out the door and I could have sworn I was walking to my own execution.

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Conversations with Cut Throats (2 of 3)















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