Letters To The Mind: Anxiety

Dear Anxiety,

It's this pressure in the front of my head.

Just pushing inward till what it's up against implodes into an oblivion. 

It comes quietly. 

Subtle at first,

but you will soon know that familiar sting.  

It reverberates attraction to yourself,

and before you knew it,

everything is now in front of you. 

Demanding attention. 

Waiting for your smile,

but you can't. 

That monster,

like other things,

has been apart of you for so long. 

You don't know what it's like without it. 

So it grows apart of you, 

feeding on your insides,

till you can't stand it anymore. 

'Will it be under the knife,

or under the rope?' 

You ask. 

It just smiles back to you. 

It’s planted its seed. 

You rush to find yourself,

looking desperately for the bandages.

You look left,

then right, 

but alas,

nothing could be found. 

You try desperately to free yourself,

but it consumes you. 

Your heart drops to the floor. 

You have this feeling of lightheadedness.

Everyone is watching. 

No one will understand.

Not a single soul will get a chance. 

It blends in with your insides,

you soon forget its there. 

You grow immune to the disgust. 

It sits in its dark corner of your body. 

It's happy it has a home. 

Was it acceptance?

Or was it a will lost?

Then it builds. 

There's a fortress. 

Your organs are its walls. 

If you want to take it down,

then you have to go down with it. 

You stab yourself in your chest,

with the sharpest of cutlery. 

Twisting to get around the corner. 

Cutting everything in its path. 

A sound so sweet to your ears,

when you hear it scream with anguish. 

You pry it out of its home,

but before you knew it,

you already became one. 

Remember me