Amicus Est Tanquam Alter Idem Pt. 7

The Shadow 

By: Amy Scheibe

It will find you,

run, run, he whimpered,

His soul faded, like a withering rose,

I could see it in his eyes,

He was slipping away,

I had no time to mourn,

It was like an evening rain,

sweet, yet bitter,

And I ran,

and I never looked back,

for if I did,

I would surely fall,

deeper and deeper,

into the black hole,

I call my mind.

I can't pretend that i didn't want to,

For that would be a lie,

Curiosity gets to the best of us,

The trick is to forget,

forget what once was true,

and remember what was just a memory,

Maybe even just a dream,

Because dreams hold the most terrible truths,

even if you don't wish to believe it,

It was chasing me,

nothing more then a bad dream,

that had forced its way to make me believe,

believe it was real,

Its shadow stalking me,

Taking everything I loved,

Destroying it.

What would I do?

Force it back into my mind,

Make it live in the dark,

Where it belonged,

But how would I do it,

The thought raced through my head,

clawing and stabbing for an answer,

Making me feel my heart shudder,

deep in my veins,

from the fear,

the fear of failing,

failing once again.

Remember them

Tomorrow Will Never Be Today

We stopped this before.

In my head of lullabies.

I swear I’ve seen this before,

twisting the reigns on a horse.

Ceramics and feathers,

waiting for the weather to shine

oh shine

I seem to relay,

all of the beacons, 

I once let go.  

Tomorrow I will loose my head

Tomorrow I will loose my head

Tomorrow I will loose my head

I know i've seen this before,

concrete jungles they stop my mind.

Have you stayed here before?

By the look on your face,

you have turned red.

I braced for the wild,

but you stopped and smiled,

said 'yes this is home'.

I crossed foreign land,

looked for a signal.

Its here.

Tomorrow I will loose my head

Tomorrow I will loose my head

Tomorrow I will loose my head

And you, won't know.

And you, will stay home. 

And you, will wait for the storm. 

Oh I can't stand,

what you will do.

Just hold my hand,

I know what I'll do. 

I cannot clench what gets you bothered. 

I cannot see what's in your brother.

I will not stand for this any longer.

And you, won't know.

And you, will stay home. 

And you, will wait for the storm. 

Remember me

Amicus Est Tanquam Alter Idem Pt. 6

I miss the way you taste.

I’ve been stuck in this rut for years,

begging you look at me.

Look what I’ve become.

A self-loathing animal,

I made this all for you.

The scars remind me of what could have been,

that I couldn’t have loved more thoroughly,

than I had when I was young.

The playfulness poured out of my eyes for attention,

and you took it all in for yourself.

Your selfish bones,

creaking my life away.

I dulled myself down for your comfort.

Are you comfortable watching me decay?

What have I become?

A self-loathing animal?

I made this all for you.

Kiss me away,

I wont come back I swear.

I’ll stay right here,

in this same place.

Still crying.

Still missing the way you taste.











Remember them

One Last Reason

Crawl for a space to start again,

forget all that has been done.

I have become a mess to the life I lead,

just some ugly crumbling road.

In a sleepy state, I feel awake inside,

but I know what I really am.

I don’t know what to believe,

or if I am still asleep.

I think I am a machine,

mind never stops its ticking. 

A metronome in my dreams.

There's no place without scratch. 

There's a devil on my back.

It's just out of my reach.

So close but stays right out of reach. 

Give me one good reason 

to try to keep me alive.

Give me one good hour 

to keep what's in my life.

Give me one last kiss,

to quench the fire that's inside.

Because I can't be here 

It can't be right

Choking till I die. 

Save me to celebrate, 

celebrate all my needs today,

what have I become?

You can forget me,

and the things that I've done.

No intention to stay like this.

How can I hate you 

if I don't know who you are,

or even if your a thing.

A shadow back in my mind,

I fall to do the same.

Why do I hate what I've become?

I think I am a machine

Mind never stops its ticking. 

A metronome in my dreams.

There's no place without scratch. 

There's a devil on my back.

It's just out of my reach.

So close but stays right out of reach. 

Give me one good reason 

to try to keep me alive.

Give me one good hour 

to keep what's in my life.

Give me one last kiss,

to quench the fire that's inside.

Because I can't be here 

It can't be right

Give me one more time,

to feel, what its like.

Give me one last mess,

to fix for tonight.

Give me one last smile,

to make me think about.

Because I can't be here 

It can't be right

Because I can't be here 

It can't be right

Choking till I die. 

Remember me

When I Look Forward

Hey there my friend,

Curled up and scared.

You cant take away from me,

what you've already shared.

When the fire in our hearts, 

consume the world, 

thats when we are truely alive.

When we all die.

Now I have to say,

that the blood is sinking in.

I washed out my clothes,

so no one will know,

what happened to us again.

It got sucked through my lungs,

my feelings got stung,

now I really can see.

My eyes were of no use.

My feet were useless.

My thoughts were wasted.

My sighs mean I miss this.

My fingers were stinging.

As my smile was shrinking.

and all that I can do,

was wish I was with you.

Remember me

Peacefully

I struggle for days,

to live in open flames.

Will you reach for me,

or will I do it for you?

The coals are so warm,

I just want to go home.

In my house of no friends,

I can do this again.

I can see the sunset,

over the mountains and regret.

what can I understand about you, 

if you keep the matches and wont move.

This is a time for no sleep,

over the fire that you keep.

I struggle to find things about you,

when you keep the matches and don't move.

This time the sun wont come till you start.

Why wont you go?

This time the sun wont come till you start.

Why wont you go?

Theres a deamon in my mind,

its fang denies, resides.

It tries to satisfy,

and makes me deny.

Now I'll struggle for days,

to wait in these open flames.

Now you wont reach for me,

burning peacefully.

I know you,

you need me.

Just take this,

become clean.

I have you,

you have me.

We're burning,

so peacefully.

The coals are so warm,

I just want to go home.

In my house of no friends,

I can do this again.

I struggle for days,

to live in open flames.

Will you reach for me,

or will I do it for you?

I can see the sunset,

over the mountains and regret.

what can I understand about you, 

if you keep the matches and wont move.

This is a time for no sleep,

over the fire that you keep.

I struggle to find things about you,

when you keep the matches and don't move.

This time the sun wont come till you start.

Why wont you go?

This time the sun wont come till you start.

Why wont you go?

Remember me

A Poets Depression

When you're little, you grow to love anything you set your sights on and those little pieces of plastic that were manufactured in China become your most prized possessions. You live to protect them because everything is simply a miracle when you are young. You don't understand how these things could be made and you treat them the exact same way that a rich person would keep a hold on their wallets—close to the heart and filling your soul. Then you grow older and because of your new maturity those things that you once loved turns to a mere few.

You become preoccupied with your life and you have no more time for your friends, all you can do is struggle to make a living. This is all inevitable because that’s apart of growing up; leaving your own happiness on the side of the road just so you can work for the rest of your life to achieve what? An old age and a wish for youth again. You could only wish to live another life so live those through joys again and hope for it to never leave your side.

What I want to do is compare that to a young individual when they receive clinical depression because that gap from being able to love everything to very little shortens very dramatically. You find that you didn't have the chance to enjoy the great things in life. The smell of roses no longer becomes appealing and those few things that everyone will soon have to go through will come like a knife in the back. You would find that there would be some things you would like but depression hides it from you. You strive to find the good colours in the world but you are now blind, living in darkness and that is depression. 

Its like you are trying to find what is nearly impossible to see; waving your foot around in the dark while descending down a long staircase, you don't know where the bottom is and when it comes to that you are, you still look for another step to stand on. Striving for hope in a land of chaos, we will wish to change it but we find that failure is what we live and deal with for the rest of our lives. We will remain to believe but till it happens, we cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel or even smell the clean bright air. This has become my life. This has become my tune. I will live with it and it will become my nighttime fellow. I will have to search and find my support. I know that there could be things that I would love for the rest of my life but I just need to find them first. 

Remember me