Dear Worth,
I can't really say that I thought you made a difference in my life.
People tell me I have you but it's a feeling I never get. You have never swayed
my mind to better things so what's the point?
I'm sorry that I don't listen to you, it's not intentional. You could
mean so much to me if I would just listen but here I am. I have torn myself
apart without you and as the days go by it only gets darker.
Without you I desire to be alone and I know that is wrong. I feel this
great pressure in my chest and I can smell something that just reminds me of
emotion. I regret every second I spend without you but every second is another
to late.
I can't function anymore. I tell myself to distance myself and I do it
every time. It cripples my heart and destroys everything I thought before. Then
I have to start again. The thoughts in my mind don't reassure me. I could be
great but I hear a whisper in my ear saying 'She doesn't actually care for
you.' I feel like a child having to be told the same thing everyday but it really
does keep the beasts away.
I can't stand myself. I can't take care of myself because of you. I
neglect what's good for me almost intentionally because I think nothing
matters. I truly am a child, nearly crippled when I'm on my own and I can't do
what's best for me like I need someone to tell me everyday. My thoughts only
get the best of me.
Remember me
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