It Really Pays

Who do you think you are?

As I cross the valley, and the rain,

we all become something again. 

Because...

Where do you belong?

As I cross the star field, 

and go across,

I feel everything is lost. 

Circumstantial. Evangelical.

Cross my path in the receptacle. 

Supersubstantial. Incomprehensible. 

I always felt I belong in this world. 

Superficial. Enigmatic 

I will look for what I lack. 

I always believed,

if I worked hard,

for my living. 

Teach all those,

who aren’t all willing. 

Have those believe,

in what I’m selling. 

It really pays to work hard. 

I always believed,

if I live a life worth living.

Picking off the pieces,

that don’t see the ceiling. 

Feel the void,

as it keeps on spilling. 

It really pays to be worth something. 

Remember me 

A Poets Requiem

Life sometimes changes for the worst or the better. It doesn't matter which. Other than the fact it changes. I've lived a whole life scared of the unknown. Unknown where my life would lead. Where I would go. Who I would still be friends with. Who I marry. A lot has happened and me, on the edge of 27, still have many unknowns about where my life would lead. 

I’ve seen relationships fall to pieces. The world is on fire and people just want a place in this world. People just want to belong. I want to belong. I never thought life would take me down the roads I have traveled. I have crossed snow capped mountains just to find meaning in this life and some days I feel I can almost grasp it. 

Relationships grow. The world is rebuilding and I’ve created a stable enough life in which I live in that would be enough for a child. I’ve always grown uneasy about this subject. The fear of the what if’s? The fear of how will it’s life lead. The fear of the unknown. 

For so long I’ve made excuses on this is not the type of world I wanted to bring a child in. The world is a cruel cruel place and people can be monsters to each other. I’ve feared that it would take after me and my bad habits. My illness. I’ve feared everything that I could have possibly thought about. Regardless. The days are getting shorter everyday. 

An uncertainty of whether or not if I wanted a child outweighed if I should have a child. There was a difference. I felt that this is not the type of world I would want my child growing up in. I grew negatively in emotion and did not realize that this child, itself, the sun and the moon. The Earth and the stars. Everything aligned. 

Yes there are many negative things in the world but there can be no good if there is no bad. There is no light, if there is no darkness. There is no Alpha without Omega. 

I’ve struggled with depression, anxiety, schizophrenia for a long time now. It keeps pulling me down this road of self loathing and fear. I’ve been in the darkness for a while now and I needed the light. For the longest time I feared that this world would change my soon to be child. I grow smarter everyday and so will he. 

My wife will be the water coursing through the valley. Digging through the soil. Reshaping everything around us. I will be the current. Pushing everything forward. Breaking through barriers that many struggle to get through. My son will bring the life. Leading others to this new home. To live and prosper. A new way to live the land. 

I still fear the unknown. I don’t think I will ever stop fearing what I cannot comprehend. As the days turn to weeks to months. He’s almost here. The light to my darkness. The natural remedy that will calm my ailing heart. The cure for the sickness.

Remember me 

Now I See It Everywhere

Now I see it everywhere. 

Thinks your thoughts,

seem to do not care. 

You feel like a holy roller,

can you see me down from there?

Now I see it everywhere. 

Teeth so clean,

appetite so bare. 

Look after your devoted,

or they will think that it’s not fair.

Tick, tick, tock, tock,

feel the pain all around the clock. 

The people are sick,

but you HD watch it. 

Is this garbage that you're watching?

The cycle of the media,

is your type of medium. 

You know who to call?

God really knows it all. 

So you click, click, wait, wait. 

The service is at second rate. 

I need my money back. 

What else do you lack?

They are stepping up, that’s a fact. 

I’ll be right back. 

Hang them on the wall,

and kiss them when they fall. 

Necks just snap with little effort,

I’ll send your family a letter. 

Now the people stood in awe,

people don’t know who to call.

I just sit here and wait,

I wonder if it takes the bait?

Now I see it everywhere. 

Thinks your thoughts,

seem to do not care. 

You feel like a holy roller,

can you see me down from there?

Now I see it everywhere. 

Teeth so clean,

appetite so bare. 

Look after your devoted,

or they will think that it’s not fair.

Remember me 

Leak 8/26/19

Three posts this week:

Now I see it Everywhere: Poetry- 8/27/19 5:00 PM MST 

A Poets Requiem: A Poets Entry-8/29/19 5:00 PM MST 

It Really Pays: Poetry-8/31/19 5:00 PM MST 


A Poets Requiem will be the 600th post on my blog this week, so its something special we havent seen on my blog for some me now. Other than that, The Month Of Madness begins September 1st. In the Month Of Madness we will see a post ever single day for the entire month. I got a lot of content together and it will be exiting for everyone. Spread the word!



Remember me 

A Friend In Need

Can you please just stop!

The tingling between my toes. 

As I watch you no remorse. 

Oh please I'm dying,

I've got to get inside. 

The holes,

are finally cracking thin. 

You told me I’m to be your man. 

I am such a sucker

I thought you were the one. 

In the midst of the argument, 

a new thought fills my mind. 

I need to find a new world,

with new people,

to help me feel alive. 

I can’t help but think,

of your mournful regressions. 

This needs to end,

when you fill your obsession. 

I need to be alone. 

I think that’s what’s best. 

I need someone dear,

to get these thoughts off my chest.

Remember me 

Pretty Soul

Remember me 

Carelessly Growing Up

Freedom is the key,

we were lost but not free. 

Give me a blank check,

and something to write with.

That’s it. 

Can you ease,

the thoughts of my mind?

There are some things lost,

I need to find. 

Need some therapy,

to lose the loonies within. 

That’s better. 

Light lines thoughts in my mind. 

Passively waking up in the afternoon. 

Live lines bright up the life. 

Can we go in and see?

I wake up,

When the sun goes down. 

That’s when I like to sleep. 

Can I lie down with you?

and listen to your sad sappy songs?

Need to wake up now,

I new it was to good to be true. 

The precedence, it awakes you. 

I need to get up. 

I need to get dressed.

I need to get paid. 

The involuntary citizens,

will help me. 

Green vines entangle my mind. 

Passively waking up in the afternoon. 

Loved lies keep me alive. 

Carelessly growing up 

and believing every word you say.

Remember me

Leak 8/19/19

Three posts this week.


Carelessly Growing Up: Poetry-8/20/19 5:00 PM MST 

Pretty Soul: Visual Poetry- 8/22/19 5:00 PM MST

A Friend In Need: Poetry-8/24/19 5:00 PM MST 






Remember me 

The Line

It is time,

please stay in line. 

I’m the only single,

bloodcell friend I know. 

It’s been a while,

so please take your time. 

Don’t pass your judgement,

my direction any way or how.

There are easy things,

to come to pass. 

There are some 

harder things,

on the way too. 

There are some 

simple things,

don’t blink 

you’ll miss it. 

There’s a paycheck,

and it’s coming in the mail. 

It is time. 

So don’t lose your mind. 

I’m the sickest kid,

you will find in the room.

They’ve lost some lives,

so don’t be behind. 

We got the strongest men,

in the block or two. 

Sometimes it ain’t easy,

to stay in line. 

I swear I’ll serve you,

if you stay this time. 

There are some things,

In the back of my mind.

I won’t speak about it,

to you at all this time.

Remember me 

The Whole World

Remember me 

Night of My Life

I will wait beside your,

bedroom window pane. 

Leaves the clocks,

Be absent yet again. 

Silence, drive me home. 

Move the curtains,

soak up the sun. 

We may have lost the battle, 

by the war is won. 

Silence, drive me home. 

They hate us,

because we went to far. 

They blame us, 

for the wreck of their car. 

And who’s to look under the hood?

Understand the machinations when,

I don’t ever know. 

I will never know. 

But it was the night of my life.

Remember me 

Leak 8/12/19

Three posts this week


Night of My Life: Poetry-8/13/19 5:00 PM MST 

The Whole World: Visual Poetry-8/15/19 5:00 PM MST 

The Line: Poetry-8/17/19 5:00 PM MST   







Remember me 

Salvation?

Leave the keys on the wall. 

Forget what you think of them all. 

If I could take back those words I said,

would I be more content?

If I could turn back the wheels of time,

would my soul be spent?

Jesus got a problem,

Jesus got a problem with me. 

Burn, let it burn, let it burn. 

Jesus got a problem,

what do you think he’ll do to me?

Let him burn, 

let them burn, 

let him burn. 

We’ll work out the details for the rest.

Remember me 

Asleep

Remember me 

Sadie (Was The Killer)

I claimed Sadie,

was the killer.

It was Sadie,

instead of me. 

She’s a clever woman,

and I’m a stupid man.

I guess it was,

wrong to trust her. 

I guess I,

couldn’t really see. 

We met at the coffee bar.

With a full life ahead of me. 

I don’t like,

how you say it like that. 

Why does this have to be?

With a life full of complications.

Everyone is staring at me. 

I claimed Sadie,

was the killer.

It was Sadie,

instead of me. 

I need to watch my back,

protect myself from misery. 

Now we’re back to square one. 

Now can we leave?

I told you she was lying,

she’s trying to ruin me. 

I should have said yes,

when I said no.

That bastard is always,

a step ahead. 

The wait is infernal,

The day is on fire. 

I claimed Sadie,

was the killer.

It was Sadie,

instead of me

I’ll never see daylight,

I’ll never see daylight again.





Remember me 

Leak 8/5/19

Three posts this week 


Sadie (Was The Killer): Poetry- 8/6/19 5:00 PM MST 

Asleep: Visual Poetry-8/8/19 5:00 PM MST  

Salvation?: Poetry- 8/10/19 5:00 PM MST






Remember me 

Shot

Remember me 

To Find You

The day is long,

and the work is hard.

Control me,

till I fall. 

Do I want to live, 

this destiny?

Or will it get,

the best of me. 

I pass the river of seclusion,

to meet a fan of knives. 

There’s a fork in the road,

which way should I side?

I long to live a life,

to see this angel. 

The angel was the best of me,

until I left her side. 

I cross the darkness of the valley,

that is deep inside. 

I see the bridge to the Otherside,

which way should I climb?

I long to live a life,

to see this angel. 

I see the angel at the gate,

wait for the hate to subside. 

The day is long,

and the work is hard.

Control me,

till I fall. 

Do I want to live, 

this destiny?

Or will it get,

the best of me.

Remember me