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Act I:2 in
The person I previously got off the phone
with was a woman by the name of Temperance. Kind in her words and even kinder
in her footsteps, I feel that this simple woman could be something more to me,
something more than a friend, someone special to my soul—if we even had souls.
I feel that at least I do, the soul I mean. When you live your life by being
told what to do—no existence of right or wrong because you have no choice—I
feel that you would be unable to have a soul. It makes sense in theory but when
you see this in the flesh you could only wonder what is the exact
representation of a soul?
I normally view it as something that
resides inside of you that tells you right from wrong and if you follow a
determined path—whether it be right or wrong—you get your just deserved prize
in some magic orb where souls congregate. I guess. But as I listen to what’s
left of nature outside or even live in silence I could only think there is a
soul there. I could be wrong but if that would be true then what I know about
souls would be completely false. Maybe there is only one soul that consumes
many objects and things or even one soul that is everywhere that could be seen?
As I search for this in my higher education, my elders tell me that I am
speaking some form of blasphemy—I cant get an answer from them because even the
elders were created in the enclaves image so they can only know what everyone
else knows and once your perfect like the rest, you no longer ask
questions.
I have figured throughout the years that
I am a special breed that varies from the rest. Even though my life is the
same, it is the exact same thing that makes me different from everyone else.
The fact that I can think for myself rather than some self-sufficient
programming that gets updated daily to tell me what to do, I had no programming
though I never was actually born but produced like everyone else. I know
this, no one else does. It may have been a mistake when I was created but then
again, maybe the Enclave is well aware of me and this is just some kind of sick
social experiment. Either way, I feel alone. I am one of a million, maybe one
of the entire world; everything that appears to me is too big for this whole
situation, I can't seem to handle it.
After I graduated from the mid level
learning center I began to realize that my gift was unique and if I wasn't
careful and if this really was a mistake, I might be forced to change so I had
to blend in with the rest of society and that was to be perfect. Call it
paranoia but in no way am i willing to change, whether it be better for me or
not. Luckily for me, even though we were created to be human that doesn't mean
we lack human qualities, thanks to that even because we are perfect we still
make mistakes because that is just within our code. If I ever did make a
mistake, it will just be seen as an error in my programming and I would be
instantly forgiven but if many mistakes are seen regularly, well I haven't
heard back from those who have.
As for Temperance, however, she literally
is perfect but not like everyone else. I've never seen her ever make a mistake
the entirety of time I have known her and that’s been a hell of a long time.
She sees me making mistakes regularly and she just smiles at me, then helps me
with my problem. Its like she has seen it all, done it all even. She just wraps
her arms around me from behind and guides my hands to correct whatever I did wrong
and she whispers in my ear.
'Don’t feel bad. Everyone makes mistakes,
even me.' She tells me. That’s not true, though I wouldn't ever dare calling
her out on it. She is perfect in the exact sense and so is everyone else around
her yet here I am. I feel broken sometimes but then I remember that I have my
own talents and my own perseverance that could consume anyone whole, so it all
balances out. Just once I would love to not make a mistake in a given day, just
to prove to her that I am not all broken as I seem to be but I guess that comes
with a free mind. As I talk to her, though she doesn't understand when I say
'free will', she acts as like she understands, like she was just like me but I
know she isn't, she has all of the same characteristics in everyone else;
happy, smart, talented, overwhelming.
Now, I work at a factory that makes these
little things known as phantasic sutures. In reality they are these little half
inch round tubes that are about the size of a large needle that you implant
into your body—regularly its the back of your neck--at first it hurts to
install but if you keep the injection site in a central location it will
eventually kill all the nerves in that location and it would feel painless.
Being perfect gives you no joy in everyday life so these were created to quell
any sort of uprising that might occur from frustration or lack of satisfaction—because
we still are human. I know this because I am not stupid like everyone else here
and it affects my body differently.
Imagine, as you will, a game, a game you
cannot win. A game that makes you hate anything that steps in your path and you
just want to rage for a good long while. This is what these things do. I know
what your thinking, 'So how does this make you feel good?' well its simple
really. In that split second that millions of emotions pump through your brain
and you witness carnage of no other, you then return to the real world, which
is perfect, which gives you an imaginary high to your life because you realize
that things can be oh so much worse but this is all subconsciously. When an
average person takes this they feel like they are on top of the world because
hey, they don’t have to deal with real problems, pretty sick right?
If you read the label on the back of a
box of twenty-five or fifty, it reads; Through the help of the Phantasic
Suture, all of your senses will build into one and all will feel as if you were
on a cloud--which is stupid. Then all at once, all of your problems will go
away and you can enjoy bliss in its purity—which is a lie. Take multiple doses
to feel additional effects--there actually are no effects at all. You cannot take
to many Phantasic Suture's as they effect neural inhibitors and do not affect
your blood stream—all right you got me there. Once done, take the remainder of
the capsule and throw it away. Enjoy!
I feel a little puke going down my throat
whenever I read anything on the box, just lies, every single inch of it. What
about me? I feel something completely different. I can say that whenever I am
forced to take one of the capsules—which are at least once a month, which is
mandatory—I feel the exact opposite. Because I am well aware of all of these
other feelings I can only feel dread and immediate regret whenever I take one.
Hell, its even blasphemy if I don't take these things.
Now, I can say that I have this run of
the mill assembly workshop job at the end of the conveyor belt putting all the
final pieces together as a wear a yellow hard hat and safety glasses but those
jobs have been obsolete since I was little. It’s all machinery now. To the
tiniest tenth of a millimeter everything that the machines touch become
perfect—anything anyone touches becomes perfect other than me. Even though I am
capable of mistakes it is nearly impossible for me to make any at my
position—which is a godsend. In fact I guess I could say that I am pretty high
up in the executive chain of command because I am the backbone to the exact
science of appearance to texture of every little bit that has to do with the
capsules themselves, to the injectors all the way to the colour of
packaging.
It was my very own stroke of genius idea
to turn the previous nano-injectors into capsules enabling a safer way to
receive the additional chemicals—which we don't even need. I should feel proud
but I don't. I should feel proud because before the nano-injectors sometimes
pinched a vein and bruised the skin and sometimes infecting the entire arm.
This however was an easy fix in the medical department because like everything
else, it is perfect. The only difference it made was costs to those who had to
pay the doctors and costs to the company and us as employees to avoid any legal
troubles to the client who faced his own clever mistake because after all, we
are still human—even if we are created in some test tube.
I did get a nice little raise though,
just more money to my stack of money. I've read books on how people were poor
or had financial troubles because they were addicted to tobacco products or
alcohol or drugs, well that’s true now too but just because of the phatasic
suture's. More times than not the damn things take up around a little more than
half of a regular paycheck and to those who don't live of the phantasic
devices? We roll in money.
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